Everything I Wish I Knew About Breastfeeding and Pumping Before I Had My First Baby

Everything I Wish I Knew About Breastfeeding and Pumping Before I Had My First Baby

If there is one part of having a baby that I genuinely do not think I could have researched enough beforehand, it’s breastfeeding.

And I researched.

A lot.

While I was pregnant with Barrett, I remember telling Seth that breastfeeding and pumping were probably going to have the biggest learning curve for me.

Most of the other newborn stuff?

I felt pretty good about it.

Granted, this was Pregnant Angel speaking, who had never actually been responsible for a newborn before and therefore possessed a truly inspiring amount of confidence.

But breastfeeding was different.

I knew there were things I simply could not understand until I physically did it.

You can read about a latch.

You can watch somebody use a breast pump.

You can save pumping schedules on Pinterest.

You can watch IBCLCs explain flange sizing.

But eventually, someone hands you your actual baby, your actual breasts are involved, your milk supply

is involved, and you realize:

Oh. There are approximately four thousand variables here.

Now, seven months into breastfeeding, nursing and pumping, I know so much that I desperately wish I could go back and tell First-Week-Postpartum Me.

Not because I have breastfeeding completely figured out.

Absolutely not.

I have had great supply days.

Terrible supply days.

Moments where breastfeeding felt incredibly natural.

Moments where I was Googling things at midnight wondering whether I had somehow ruined my milk supply forever.

I’ve breastfed directly.

Pumped after nursing.

Used wearables.

Used my Spectra.

Built a freezer stash.

Dipped into the freezer stash.

Changed flange sizes.

Power pumped.

Tried supplements.

Forgot to drink water all day.

Remembered to drink water all day.

And learned a whole lot through trial and error.

So this is the blog post I wish somebody had handed me before Barrett was born.

Not a medical breastfeeding guide.

Not a replacement for an IBCLC, pediatrician or your own healthcare provider.

Just one breastfeeding mom saying to another:

Here are the things I really wish I had understood sooner.

First: Do the Research Before You’re Sleep Deprived

If you know you want to breastfeed, I absolutely recommend learning about breastfeeding before your baby arrives.

And if pumping is going to be part of your feeding journey at all, learn about your pump too.

This is where I made one of my biggest mistakes.

I had my Spectra S1.

I knew it was highly recommended.

I knew approximately what all the pieces did.

And then I came home from the hospital recovering from a C-section, severely sleep deprived, trying to learn how to care for a newborn, trying to breastfeed, emotional, sore, overwhelmed and trying to establish my milk supply.

That was not an ideal time to begin Breast Pump University.

My Spectra suddenly looked like the control panel of an aircraft.

What setting do I use?

What does cycle mean?

What vacuum level?

How long do I stay in stimulation mode?

Why does this hurt?

Am I doing this wrong?

Am I getting enough milk?

Should I turn the suction higher?

It became incredibly overwhelming.

So if I could go back, I would sit down with that pump during pregnancy.

I’d watch ,pre tutorials.

I’d learn what every button does.

I’d assemble and disassemble the parts.

I’d understand stimulation mode versus expression mode.

I’d learn how the cycle and vacuum settings work.

Obviously, you cannot completely know how your body will respond before you’re lactating.

But you can remove the unnecessary learning curve.

Because you do not want to be reading a Spectra instruction manual while holding a five-day-old baby and crying.

Ask me how I know.

If You Use a Spectra, Start Gentle

This is probably one of the biggest things I wish somebody had simply said to me:

Higher suction does not automatically equal more milk.

You do not get bonus points for surviving the highest vacuum setting.

The pump should not hurt.

When I first started pumping, I saw other women sharing the settings they used and assumed I should somehow work toward those settings too.

Now I can comfortably tolerate vacuum level 12 on my Spectra, which is its maximum setting.

It doesn’t hurt me.

But that is my body now, seven months into pumping.

Someone else might be seven months postpartum and prefer level five.

Neither person is doing it wrong.

When you’re starting, use the strongest suction that is still genuinely comfortable for you.

If increasing the vacuum makes you tense up, hurt, swell or dread pumping, stronger is not necessarily better.

Your nipples are not in a CrossFit competition.

Learn Responsive Pumping Instead of Memorizing One Magical Setting

This changed pumping for me.

I spent way too much time thinking there must be one perfect Spectra program somewhere online.

“Use this cycle for five minutes, then this vacuum, then switch to this…”

Those guides can absolutely give you somewhere to start.

But breasts are annoyingly individual.

What I have found far more helpful is responding to what my body is actually doing during the pump session.

With my Spectra, I usually start in stimulation—or letdown—mode.

People sometimes call the button the “bacon button” because the symbol looks a little like bacon.

I stay there until I can tell my milk is beginning to let down and flow.

Sometimes that happens quickly.

Sometimes it takes longer.

Then I switch into expression mode.

From there, I pay attention.

Is milk actively flowing?

Has the flow slowed?

Would changing the cycle help trigger another letdown?

Does my body respond better to a faster rhythm right now or a slower one?

That has served me so much better than believing somebody else’s exact sequence of numbers is the secret to pumping.

Use other people’s settings as a starting point.

Then learn your boobs.

That sentence was not on my 2026 bingo card, but here we are.

If You Know Your Primary Pump Ahead of Time, Learn THAT Pump

I use a Spectra S1 and genuinely love it now.

The irony is that I hated it at first.

Now?

It’s my primary pump and I would recommend it all day long.

The S1 has a rechargeable battery, which was a major selling point for me because I didn’t want to remain tethered to an outlet whenever I pumped.

If I were pregnant again, I would still choose a strong double-electric primary pump like my Spectra.

And before purchasing anything yourself, check your health insurance.

I used Aeroflow to look at my options, and my insurance covered my pump.

Depending on your plan, you may have several choices or may pay an upgrade fee for certain models.

It is absolutely worth checking before spending hundreds of dollars yourself.

If Insurance Is Paying for One Pump, I Would Personally Prioritize My Primary Pump

I would not use my insurance benefit on wearables if I knew I was also going to need a reliable primary pump.

Wearables are fantastic for convenience.

We’ll get to those.

But for establishing my supply, I would want the strongest, most reliable primary pump I could reasonably get first.

Then, if my budget allowed it, I would add wearables separately.

Because knowing what I know now, the primary pump is the workhorse.

The wearables are the supporting cast.

I Would NOT Use My Wearables as My Primary Pumps Again

This is probably one of my biggest pumping do-overs.

Less than a week postpartum, we were coming home from Barrett’s first pediatrician appointment and

I was completely overwhelmed by my Spectra.

I told Seth to go into Walmart while Barrett and I stayed in the car and buy me the cheapest wearable pumps he could find.

He came back with a set of Momcozy S9 Pro V pumps.

And honestly?

At that exact point in my life, they helped me tremendously.

They were easier mentally.

I could put them in my bra.

I could hold Barrett.

I could move around.

They were particularly convenient in the middle of the night when I wanted to pump without feeling attached to a machine.

I do not regret owning wearables.

What I would change is how much I relied on them.

For the first few months, I leaned on those pumps much more heavily than I would now.

Eventually, I realized my Spectra emptied me far more effectively.

Today I really only use my wearables if we’re out for the day, traveling, I need to pump on the go, or—I will admit this publicly—I forgot to wash my Spectra parts.

Wearables have a place.

For me, that place just isn’t Primary Pump.

Especially if I were establishing my supply again.

Frequent, Effective Milk Removal Matters More Than the Latest TikTok Hack

Listen.

I have researched the supplements.

I have researched the drinks.

I have researched the foods.

I have researched the oatmeal.

I have researched brewer’s yeast.

I have researched all the things people swear transformed them into a Holstein overnight.

And some things may be helpful for some women.

But the boring answer continually wins:

Milk production is driven heavily by milk removal.

If milk is frequently and effectively removed, your body receives the signal that milk is being used.

That is the foundation everything else sits on.

No cookie is going to replace that.

No supplement can compensate for a pump that isn’t emptying you well.

No magical drink changes the basic supply-and-demand system your body is working from.

This is also why I care so much now about using a pump that works well for my body.

During the earliest weeks, I often pumped after nursing because I was intentionally trying to establish and protect my supply and create a little extra milk.

That was part of my feeding situation.

I wouldn’t tell every breastfeeding mom that she automatically needs to pump after every nursing session forever. That can be unnecessary for some women and can even contribute to an oversupply.

This is exactly where having access to a knowledgeable lactation professional can be incredibly valuable.

But if you are struggling with supply, milk transfer, weight gain or pumping output, one of the first things I would investigate is:

Is milk actually being removed effectively?

Before buying six supplements and a lactation brownie mix.

I Wish I Had Known More About Delayed Milk Coming In

Something I didn’t fully understand beforehand was that birth circumstances and maternal health can affect how quickly milk production ramps up.

I had PCOS.

I had a long induction.

I ultimately had a C-section.

My milk did not immediately come pouring in.

And at the time, that was incredibly stressful because I didn’t have the context I have now.

When your baby has just been born and you’re trying desperately to breastfeed, it is very easy to interpret every difficulty as:

My body isn’t working.

Looking back, I wish I’d gone into the hospital knowing that lactation can take time to establish and that some circumstances can make that process slower or more complicated.

It wouldn’t have magically solved anything.

But information removes some of the panic.

And panic is not exactly in short supply during your first postpartum week.

Supplementing Does Not Mean You Failed at Breastfeeding

This is probably one of the most important things I could tell a first-time breastfeeding mom, because I desperately needed somebody to tell me this in the hospital.

Before Barrett was born, I was very set on breastfeeding.

I wanted to nurse.

I wanted to pump.

And if I’m being completely transparent, I was also very, very set on not using formula.

That was the plan.

Then we actually had the baby.

By somewhere around night two or three in the hospital, both Seth and I were beyond exhausted.

Barrett would not settle.

I was nursing him constantly.

I was barely sleeping because he was barely sleeping, and Seth was staying awake trying to keep me awake while I fed him.

There were tears.

A lot of tears.

And eventually we started wondering:

Is he actually getting enough milk?

We asked our nurse if that could be what was happening, and they checked his weight.

Of course newborns normally lose some weight after birth, but Barrett was getting close to the amount of weight loss that his care team was comfortable with.

It became pretty clear that, despite how frequently I was putting him to the breast, he simply wasn’t getting enough yet.

My milk wasn’t fully in.

My supply hadn’t caught up to what he needed.

So we supplemented.

And I cried my eyes out.

I remember Seth giving Barrett that first bottle of donor milk while I sat there crying because, in that moment, I genuinely felt like I had failed.

Seth reassured me.

The nurse reassured me.

Logically, I knew my baby needed to eat.

Emotionally?

Postpartum Angel was not interested in logic.

If you’ve been freshly postpartum before, you probably know exactly what I mean.

Those first several days can come with an enormous hormonal and emotional crash on top of the physical recovery, sleep deprivation and complete life change that just happened.

And if you haven’t experienced postpartum yet, I want you to know ahead of time that your emotions may feel very big.

Something that might normally disappoint you can suddenly feel devastating.

So yes, I cried over that bottle.

And looking back now?

I wish I could sit beside that version of myself and tell her:

Feeding your hungry baby is not failing at breastfeeding.

We Ended Up Supplementing for About Two Weeks

The hospital had donor milk available, which we used initially.

We were able to take a small amount home, but donor milk was not something we were going to have an unlimited supply of once we left the hospital.

So when additional supplementation was needed, we used formula.

And we continued supplementing for roughly the first couple of weeks.

My milk began coming in more noticeably around day five or six, from what I remember, but there was still a difference between having milk and having enough milk to fully meet everything Barrett needed.

That took longer.

For us, it was closer to the two-week mark before I reached the point where I was making enough milk to nurse him, pump some extra and start putting breast milk into the refrigerator for later.

And then we were able to stop supplementing.

At the time, those two weeks felt enormous.

Now, seven months into breastfeeding, they look completely different to me.

Those bottles of donor milk and formula did not derail our breastfeeding journey.

They helped feed my son while my body caught up.

That’s a very different story than the one I was telling myself in the hospital.

I Had No Idea How Many Other Moms Had Been Through the Same Thing

Once we started talking about what was happening, we heard from friends, coworkers and other parents whose breastfeeding journeys had also included supplementation early on.

And I remember thinking:

Why did nobody talk about this before I had a baby?

I had somehow gone into birth with this mental picture that breastfeeding would fall into one of two categories:

Either breastfeeding worked, or you used formula.

That is not how feeding journeys always work.

There can be a whole lot of gray area in between.

Sometimes milk takes longer to increase.

Sometimes a baby isn’t transferring milk effectively.

Sometimes weight loss becomes a concern.

Sometimes birth circumstances, maternal health, recovery or other factors complicate things.

Sometimes a baby simply needs more milk right now than Mom is currently able to provide.

That doesn’t automatically mean breastfeeding is over.

It can simply mean:

Baby needs to eat while we figure this out.

Formula Is Not a Moral Failure

I want to say this particularly clearly because I know how emotionally loaded feeding can become when you’re freshly postpartum.

Using formula does not make you less committed to breastfeeding.

Using donor milk does not mean your body failed.

Supplementing does not mean you’re a bad mom.

It means you fed your baby.

That’s it.

If breastfeeding is still your goal, you can work with your pediatrician, an IBCLC or another qualified provider on protecting and building your supply while making sure your baby is getting enough nutrition.

For me, that meant continuing to nurse, pumping frequently, working on milk removal and using supplementation while my supply came up.

And eventually, it did.

But even if our story had ended differently—even if Barrett had needed formula longer—that still would not have meant I failed him.

I understand that now in a way I simply couldn’t on that hospital bed.

And If You Cry About It Anyway, That’s Okay Too

I would love to tell pregnant women:

“Don’t cry. It’s fine!”

But that is not remotely how postpartum hormones work.

So if you’re reading this while pregnant and you’re as emotionally invested in breastfeeding as I was, maybe the better preparation is this:

If things don’t go exactly according to plan, you are allowed to be disappointed.

You can cry.

You can grieve the version of the experience you pictured.

You can wish things had gone differently.

And then you feed your baby.

Those feelings can coexist.

What I don’t want you doing is turning a temporary feeding challenge into a verdict on yourself as a mother.

A bottle does not determine whether you’re a good mom.

A formula container does not erase all the work you’ve done breastfeeding.

Supplementation does not cancel out nursing.

And needing help while your milk supply establishes does not mean your breastfeeding journey is already over.

Sometimes feeding your baby looks different than you pictured for a little while.

That is still feeding your baby.

And I really, really wish somebody had made that distinction clear to me before I needed to hear it.

Please Buy a Nipple Ruler

This is one of those bizarre sentences nobody prepares you to say before becoming a mother.

Measure your nipples.

Seriously.

Most pumps seem to come standard with flanges somewhere around 24 to 28 millimeters.

That does not mean that is your size.

I assumed for much too long that I basically needed to make the included sizes work by adding silicone inserts.

Eventually, several months into pumping and during a period when my supply had dipped, I remeasured myself.

My size had changed.

I ordered hard plastic flanges that fit me much better.

Game changer.

Your flange fit can affect comfort, swelling, friction and how effectively you’re able to pump.

And your size can change throughout your breastfeeding journey.

So the size you measured shortly after delivery may not still be ideal three or six months later.

I would keep an inexpensive nipple ruler on hand and recheck periodically if something suddenly feels different.

Pain?

Output changed?

More nipple tissue being pulled into the tunnel?

Something just seems off?

Check your fit.

And don’t assume the number that worked three months ago is permanently tattooed into your breastfeeding destiny.

Hard Flanges Worked Much Better for Me Than Inserts

This is completely personal, but I wish I’d discovered this sooner.

For months I used silicone flange inserts to adapt the standard Spectra flange to my size.

They worked.

But once I bought actual hard plastic flanges in the size that fit me, I preferred them enormously.

I responded better.

There were fewer individual components.

Assembly was easier.

Cleaning was easier.

And anything that reduces the number of tiny breast pump parts living beside my kitchen sink receives my enthusiastic endorsement.

My current Spectra setup is wonderfully simple compared with my wearables.

Collection bottle.

Flange.

Duckbill valve.

Done.

Meanwhile, wearable-pump parts seem capable of reproducing overnight.

Nipple Butter: Buy It

I use Earth Mama Organic Nipple Butter.

I love it.

And seven months into breastfeeding, I’ve barely made it through half of that tiny jar.

A little goes a ridiculously long way.

I used it during those early nursing weeks while my body was adjusting.

I used it for dryness and irritation.

And one of my favorite uses has been applying a very small amount to the flange tunnel before pumping to reduce friction.

That made pumping dramatically more comfortable for me.

And while we’re discussing postpartum multipurpose products:

Chapped lips.

Because apparently after giving birth my entire body decided moisture was optional.

I used the nipple butter as lip balm too.

Five stars. No notes.

Food Matters More Than I Expected

Breastfeeding makes me hungry.

Not cute hungry.

Not “I’d like a little snack” hungry.

Hungry.

I underestimated how much effort it would take to consistently feed myself while feeding someone else around the clock.

The advice I would give is not to obsess over creating some flawless breastfeeding diet.

I don’t.

What I try to do is consistently give my body something to work with.

I personally prioritize protein pretty heavily.

I was already somebody who tried to get around 100 grams of protein in a day before breastfeeding, and I often aim around there or higher now.

That’s my personal target—not a universal breastfeeding requirement.

The bigger point is that I try to make food easy.

Protein shakes.

Turkey snack sticks.

String cheese.

Protein chips.

Protein bars I actually like.

Greek yogurt.

Jerky.

Protein snack packs.

Whatever makes it easy for me to walk into my kitchen, grab something with one hand and eat it while taking care of Barrett.

And please hear me on this:

Buy foods you actually like.

Postpartum is not the season for the sad protein bar you bought because it had excellent macros but tastes like drywall.

You will leave it in the cabinet.

Ask me how I know.

Do Not Skip Breakfast If You Can Help It

This is another thing I learned through experience.

Starting the day already behind on food makes everything harder for me.

Even if breakfast is just a protein shake, I try to get something into my body.

In a perfect world, I would eat consistent, nourishing meals all day long.

In actual motherhood?

Sometimes lunch is a turkey stick, string cheese and a protein bar consumed individually over ninety minutes.

We do what we can.

Hydration Matters—but You Do Not Need to Become a Full-Time Beverage Manager

Breast milk contains a lot of water.

Obviously your body needs adequate fluid intake while producing it.

And personally, I can often tell when I’ve had several days where my hydration has been terrible.

But I also want to say this because the internet can turn literally anything into another job for mothers:

You do not need to spend your entire day obsessively calculating ounces of water.

Drink regularly.

Keep water beside you.

Drink when you’re thirsty.

Make it convenient.

And if electrolyte drinks help you stay hydrated, great.

I like them.

Electrolytes Have Been Really Helpful for Me

I keep electrolyte options around because sometimes plain water simply doesn’t appeal to me enough to drink what I need.

BodyArmor has been one thing I’ve reached for frequently throughout my breastfeeding journey.

I also like Liquid I.V.-style drink mixes.

Actual Liquid I.V. gets expensive quickly, so I usually buy the Aldi version, which I genuinely like.

I normally prefer the regular versions rather than zero-sugar versions.

That’s simply what I enjoy and what has worked well for me.

I wouldn’t tell another breastfeeding mom that added sugar itself is some magical milk-production ingredient, because lactation is considerably more complicated than that.

But I also don’t personally feel the need to avoid all carbohydrates or sugar while my body is doing the fairly energy-intensive job of feeding another human.

Usually I have some combination of plain water and, when I want it, an electrolyte drink during the day.

I don’t try to turn hydration into a chemistry experiment.

Cold-Pressed Coconut Water Has Changed My Opinion of Coconut Water

Regular coconut water?

I would rather not.

To me, it tastes like somebody’s warm spit.

I’m sorry.

I said what I said.

But the refrigerated, cold-pressed kind with more of that fresh coconut flavor?

Completely different.

Some varieties have a tiny bit more texture or coconut sediment in them and are naturally a little sweeter tasting.

Those I actually enjoy.

I’ve found several affordable versions, including at Aldi.

Sometimes, especially if I’ve had a couple terrible hydration days, I’ll mix an electrolyte packet into coconut water.

Is that required for breastfeeding?

No.

Does it make hydration easier and more enjoyable for me?

Absolutely.

And that matters because the best hydration strategy is ultimately the one that results in you actually drinking something.

Some Days You Will Completely Fail at Feeding and Hydrating Yourself

I need this section in here because otherwise I’m contributing to the exact problem I hate.

You can read everything I just wrote and think:

Great.

One hundred grams of protein.

Breakfast.

Water.

Electrolytes.

Snacks.

Excellent.

Another checklist.

No.

There have been countless days over the last seven months when nighttime came and I realized:

I barely drank water today.

Or:

What did I actually eat?

Motherhood gets busy.

Babies have weird days.

Appointments happen.

Work happens.

You get stuck underneath a contact nap.

Life is life.

There have absolutely been times when my pumping output later reminded me that I had not been taking very good care of myself.

But beating yourself up doesn’t hydrate you retroactively.

Drink some water.

Eat dinner.

Put a snack beside your bed.

Try again tomorrow.

Consistency matters more than perfection.

Stop Comparing Your Pump Output to Women Online

Please.

I am begging you.

Do not do this to yourself.

I knew intellectually that the women online casually pumping twenty ounces in one sitting were not necessarily representative of the average breastfeeding mom.

And I still compared myself to them.

I still wondered whether I wasn’t making enough.

I still looked at bottles full of milk online and then looked at mine and felt inadequate.

Social media has a very effective way of making an unusual result appear completely average.

Some women are massive overproducers.

That’s real.

It is not automatically the standard you are supposed to meet.

Pump output varies enormously based on when you last nursed, your baby’s age, time of day, storage capacity, pump response and about seventeen other things.

If you’re pumping after nursing your baby, getting a relatively small amount can be completely expected because your baby already drank first.

An ounce is milk.

Two ounces is milk.

Three ounces is milk.

You do not have to fill an eight-ounce bottle every time you pump for the session to “count.”

And your pump output alone is not a complete measurement of your body’s ability to feed your baby.

I wish I could go back and tattoo that onto my own forehead.

You Do Not Need a Giant Freezer Full of Milk to Be Successful

I desperately wanted a freezer stash.

Not because I planned to exclusively feed frozen milk.

I wanted insurance.

I wanted to know that if I got sick, had an emergency, needed to leave Barrett unexpectedly or simply

had a rough supply day, there was milk available.

Having even a modest stash helped my anxiety tremendously.

And eventually, it actually mattered.

A few months postpartum, I unexpectedly needed gallbladder surgery.

Suddenly having stored milk was extremely useful.

At the time, because of the specific instructions I received around my medications and anesthesia, I discarded milk for a period after surgery.

If I were in that situation again, I would specifically ask the anesthesiologist, surgeon, pharmacist or IBCLC exactly which medications require any breastfeeding interruption and for how long, because recommendations vary and many commonly used anesthetic medications do not automatically require a full day of pumping and dumping.

But regardless, that experience made me incredibly grateful that Barrett already accepted bottles and that we had milk tucked away.

The stash did exactly what I wanted it to do.

It gave us flexibility when life became unpredictable.

The Pitcher Method Made Pumped Milk Management Much Easier for Me

Once I started regularly having extra pumped milk, I used what people generally call the pitcher method.

My routine looked something like this:

Freshly pumped milk went into a clean storage container in the refrigerator.

Once it cooled, I combined it with the other chilled milk I had collected.

Then we used that larger refrigerated supply for bottles as needed.

Breast-milk storage safety matters here, so definitely follow current CDC or your healthcare provider’s guidance on storage times and combining milk.

The general refrigerator limit I’ve followed is up to four days for freshly expressed breast milk.

Anything that wasn’t going to be used within the safe window got frozen.

That system was so much easier for my brain than trying to individually manage twelve tiny bottles from twelve different pumping sessions.

We Froze Milk Based on Future Feed Sizes, Not Just Current Feed Sizes

This is a tiny thing, but it worked really well for us.

If Barrett was currently drinking around two ounces at a time and we knew he was moving toward three, we didn’t necessarily freeze every bag as two ounces.

We would often freeze three-ounce portions.

The freezer stash was meant for Future Barrett.

So we tried to think about what Future Barrett would realistically eat.

I still wouldn’t freeze everything in huge portions because once milk is thawed, you don’t want unnecessary waste.

But thinking slightly ahead helped.

It was one of those tiny systems that gradually made our whole feeding process smoother.

Introducing a Bottle Was Important to Us

I knew before Barrett was born that I wanted him to breastfeed directly.

But I also knew I wanted him to take a bottle.

I wanted Seth to be able to feed him.

I wanted someone else to be able to feed him if I needed to be away.

I wanted flexibility.

And after my unexpected surgery later on, I became even more grateful we had prioritized that.

Barrett was able to move between breast and bottle extremely well from early on.

That made our lives substantially easier.

Especially during those early weeks when I was pumping frequently and sometimes simply needed Seth to be able to feed him while I dealt with the pump.

We Were Very Intentional About the Bottles We Chose

This is one of the things I researched excessively while pregnant.

Shocking, I know.

We ended up choosing Evenflo wide-neck bottles, and I personally preferred the glass version.

The glass was simply our preference.

What mattered more to me was selecting a nipple shape and feeding setup that was commonly

recommended by lactation professionals for combination breast-and-bottle feeding.

There are approximately six billion bottles marketed as:

JUST LIKE MOM!

... because apparently every bottle company has personally interviewed my breasts.

Marketing language isn’t the same thing as lactation guidance.

I paid much more attention to recommendations from IBCLCs and information about how babies latch and feed than I did to the giant “BREAST-LIKE” label on the packaging.

One lactation professional whose content we followed extensively throughout pregnancy and postpartum was Kaylee Rabaja. Her educational content was one of the resources we personally found very helpful.

If you’re choosing bottles for a breastfed baby, that’s the general approach I’d recommend:

Don’t only ask which bottle is trendy.

Learn what a good bottle latch looks like.

Learn about paced feeding.

Pay attention to nipple flow.

And choose something your actual baby feeds comfortably and effectively from.

Pacifiers Were Another Thing We Researched

We originally chose the Dr. Brown’s HappyPaci.

We also tried Ninni Co. pacifiers.

I understood and appreciated the design philosophy behind the Ninni Co. pacifiers, and Barrett actually accepted them.

But they didn’t stay in his mouth particularly easily.

Which sounds great philosophically until it is three in the morning and you have replaced the pacifier seventeen times in two minutes.

Eventually, the Dr. Brown’s HappyPaci became our preference.

He could keep it in his mouth more reliably while still being able to spit it out when he was finished with it.

That ended up being the most practical balance for us.

Like bottles, I think pacifier decisions are one of those places where I would look at feeding, oral development, and your baby’s individual response rather than buying something exclusively because Instagram says it’s the best.

Nursing in Public: There Is No “Correct” Way to Do It

This is one of those breastfeeding topics where the internet seems absolutely determined to create an argument where one does not need to exist.

Some women nurse completely uncovered in public.

Some women always use a nursing cover.

Some women do both.

Some women prefer to find a private room.

Some women feed in their car.

And somehow people still manage to have extremely strong opinions about what everyone else should be doing.

I do not.

Here is my opinion:

Do whatever makes you feel comfortable.

That’s it.

Breastfeeding is natural.

Absolutely.

No woman should be made to feel ashamed of feeding her baby.

But I also get tired of seeing this idea online that because breastfeeding is natural, every woman should automatically feel perfectly comfortable exposing her breast around other people.

Those are two completely separate things.

If I use a nursing cover, it is not because there is something wrong or shameful about feeding Barrett.

It’s because I personally feel more comfortable using one in that particular situation.

Those are my own insecurities.

My own boundaries.

My own body.

And that is okay.

If another woman feels perfectly comfortable nursing uncovered?

Also okay.

Neither woman needs the other one’s permission.

I Actually Do Both Depending on Where I Am

My own comfort level changes depending on the setting, who I’m around, how I feel that day, and of course— just how hungry or upset Barrett is in that moment.

For example, if we’re somewhere like the mall in our hometown, I’m probably more likely to use my nursing cover.

There are people around.

I might run into someone I know.

Using the cover makes me feel more relaxed.

But recently, we went out of town to a sports card show.

It was crowded.

I didn’t know anybody.

I was probably never going to see any of those people again.

And Barrett was hungry.

So I found the most semi-private spot I could in an extremely crowded place, got him latched, and fed him.

I didn’t use my full nursing cover. (It was also insanely hot in there too, and I wasn't gonna cover him up and make him and myself hotter, too).

I just draped a burp cloth over the portion of my breast that still felt exposed because that was what made me comfortable.

Nobody told me I needed to.

I wasn't doing it for anybody else.

I was feeding my son while maintaining the amount of privacy I personally wanted.

And that is basically my philosophy on nursing in public.

Feed your baby.

Protect whatever amount of modesty or privacy makes you comfortable.

Carry on.

There Is Also No Magical Time When You’re “Ready” to Nurse in Public

I remember nursing in public feeling like this new level of breastfeeding I eventually needed to unlock.

Like one day I would suddenly become a Confident Breastfeeding Woman™ and effortlessly latch my baby in the middle of Target.

That is not exactly how it happened.

You just practice.

And you figure out what situations you’re comfortable with.

If nursing in public intimidates you, I actually think one of the best pieces of advice I found was:

Start small.

Do not make your first attempt at nursing outside of your house in the middle of the county fair with six thousand people walking past you unless that genuinely doesn’t bother you.

Maybe go somewhere familiar.

A quiet coffee shop.

A park.

A mostly empty corner of a restaurant.

Somewhere you frequent and already feel comfortable.

Find a spot where you can sit down, take your time and figure out how to latch your baby without feeling like the entire world is watching you.

Because nursing at home on your couch with your favorite pillow is one thing.

Nursing while sitting upright in a random chair with a diaper bag beside you and no nursing pillow?

Different sport.

You have to figure out your positioning.

Your clothes.

Your baby.

Your cover, if you use one.

What to do with the burp cloth.

Where to put everything.

How to latch without exposing three zip codes.

It takes practice.

So give yourself permission to practice somewhere low pressure.

The Car Is Completely Valid Too

I have nursed Barrett in the car plenty of times.

Honestly, depending on where we are, sometimes that is the option I prefer.

Especially if you have tinted windows, the car can give you a little private bubble where you can feed without feeling watched.

Is it always the most physically comfortable place to breastfeed?

No.

My couch at home with my comfortable pillows wins every time.

But mentally, I sometimes feel much more relaxed in the car.

At church, for example, I am personally not going to sit in the middle of a room full of people and nurse.

I would much rather step away somewhere private or go to the car.

That’s simply my comfort level.

At someone’s house, I might ask whether there’s a quiet bedroom where I can feed him.

Other times, depending on who I’m with, I’m completely comfortable nursing right where I am.

And again:

All of those options are allowed.

You do not have to prove anything by nursing in front of everyone.

You Are Also Allowed to Want Privacy Around Certain People

This is another thing I think moms need permission to stop overthinking.

You may be comfortable nursing around your husband.

Your mom.

Your sister.

Your closest friend.

And then somebody else walks into the room, and suddenly you would rather cover yourself or step away.

That does not make you weird.

And it doesn’t mean you think breastfeeding is inappropriate.

It means there are certain people you feel more comfortable being physically exposed around than others.

Which is… extremely normal.

You do not have to breastfeed in front of your entire extended family at Thanksgiving just because “breastfeeding is natural.”

You also do not have to hide in a bathroom because someone else is uncomfortable.

There is a huge range of perfectly reasonable options between those two extremes.

Figure out your boundaries.

Please Ignore the Nursing-in-Public Internet Wars

The internet will happily give you two loud groups of people.

One will tell you:

“You should ALWAYS cover up!”

The other will tell you:

“You should NEVER cover up! Normalize breastfeeding!”

And meanwhile, you are just trying to feed your hungry six-month-old before he loses his ever-loving mind.

Both groups can calm down.

We can normalize breastfeeding and support women who prefer nursing covers.

We can support uncovered breastfeeding and respect women who want privacy.

Those ideas are not in conflict.

The goal is not to breastfeed in the most ideologically "correct" way.

The goal is to feed your baby in a way that feels safe and comfortable for both of you.

And your comfort level may change over time.

Mine certainly has.

Things that would have terrified me during my earliest weeks breastfeeding barely register now.

Confidence comes from doing it.

Not from forcing yourself into situations before you’re ready.

Doing Both Nursing and Pumped Bottles Gave Us a Lot of Flexibility

Before having Barrett, I didn’t completely understand how different everyday life would look if I were both directly nursing and pumping breast milk for bottles.

That became our normal.

I nurse Barrett.

I pump.

Seth can feed him breast milk from a bottle.

We can leave the house with bottles.

Someone else can feed him.

I can pump when I need to.

He can nurse when that’s easier.

That flexibility has been incredibly valuable to us.

And that leads me to something I absolutely did not think enough about while pregnant:

Bras.

Apparently Your Breastfeeding Bra Strategy Matters A LOT

I originally bought inexpensive nursing bras.

They were perfectly fine.

When I was heavily using my wearable pumps, I could slide the wearables into them and make it work.

Then I bought a Momcozy pumping bra.

Also perfectly fine.

Except I eventually realized something extremely obvious in hindsight.

A pumping bra is great when I’m pumping.

A nursing bra is great when I’m nursing.

I am doing both.

Constantly.

And I do not want to change bras every time my feeding method changes.

Enter Kindred Bravely.

Kindred Bravely Combo Bras Are One of My Biggest Breastfeeding Splurges

I will scream this recommendation from the rooftops while simultaneously acknowledging:

They are not cheap.

At least not to me.

But they have been one of the products I’ve found genuinely worth investing in. They are SO comfortable, which matters a lot to me. I've always been a comfort-over-fashion kinda girly though (but they're cute, too). And you absolutely wanna be as comfortable as possible because let's be honest— pumping isn't exactly a day at the spa. Comfy bras make it better.

I bought their pumping-and-nursing combination bras.

I have one in a neutral beige, one in black. And I’ve since bought one of their more sports-bra-style options in a gorgeous blue color.

Some Kindred Bravely styles are also sold at Target now, which makes them easier to find and try.

The combo bras are what I reach for constantly.

Because I can nurse.

I can pump.

I can switch between the two without changing my entire outfit.

That’s what I should have bought more of from the beginning.

If you’re exclusively nursing?

Regular nursing bras may be perfect.

Exclusively pumping?

Get pumping bras.

But if you anticipate regularly doing both?

I would strongly consider combo bras.

The versatility is worth it.

Breastfeeding Is More Nuanced Than I Ever Expected

T

hat is probably my biggest takeaway from seven months of doing this.

Before I had Barrett, “breastfeeding” sounded like one activity.

Baby eats breast milk.

Simple.

In reality, there are so many separate things happening.

Latch.

Transfer.

Supply.

Demand.

Letdowns.

Pump response.

Flange size.

Nipple flow.

Bottle preference.

Pumping schedules.

Milk storage.

Hydration.

Nutrition.

Cluster feeding.

Growth spurts.

Freezer management.

Output changes.

Nursing in public.

Learning your own boundaries.

And sometimes your body simply wakes up and decides:

Let’s make Angel panic today.

Cool.

The hardest thing about breastfeeding for me hasn’t necessarily been any one physical action.

It’s been learning to trust the process while also knowing when something genuinely needs troubleshooting.

And those are two very different things.

If I Could Talk to Pregnant Me Before Breastfeeding, This Is What I Would Tell Her

Learn your pump before the baby comes.

Use a comfortable suction level.

Pay attention to your milk flow instead of obsessing over someone else’s exact settings.

Measure your nipples.

Then measure them again later.

Try properly sized hard flanges if inserts aren’t working well for you.

Buy nipple butter.

Keep food everywhere.

Keep water everywhere.

Make hydration convenient.

Use wearables for convenience if you want them, but don’t assume they have to become your primary

pump.

Do not spend $400 on lactation products before addressing whether milk is actually being removed effectively.

Do not compare your two-ounce pumping session to a stranger’s twenty-ounce TikTok.

Build a freezer stash if having one makes you feel secure—but know that you don’t need a freezer overflowing with milk to be successfully breastfeeding.

Introduce a bottle if that flexibility matters to your family.

Choose feeding products intentionally.

Practice nursing outside your house when you feel ready.

Use a cover if you want one.

Don’t use one if you don’t.

Leave the room if you want privacy.

Stay exactly where you are if you don’t.

And for the love of everything good, buy the bra that lets you pump and nurse.

But I would also tell her something I think she needed to hear more than any pumping tip:

Your feeding plan is not more important than feeding your baby.

If your milk takes longer than expected to come in, feed him.

If he needs donor milk, feed him.

If he needs formula while your supply catches up, feed him.

Cry if you need to.

Be disappointed if you need to.

Ask for help.

Keep working toward breastfeeding if that remains your goal.

But do not sit in a hospital bed looking at one bottle and decide that it means you failed.

Because seven months later, you might still be sitting there nursing the same baby you were convinced you had already failed on night three.

And you will realize how incredibly wrong that frightened, exhausted version of you was.

More than anything?

Give yourself room to learn.

Because you can prepare for breastfeeding.

You should prepare for breastfeeding.

But there will still be parts of it that you cannot understand until you’re sitting there at three in the morning with your own baby, your own pump and your own body trying to figure it out together.

Some days will be easy.

Some days you’ll feel like an expert.

Some days you’ll Google the exact same thing you’ve already Googled nineteen times.

Some days you will forget to drink your water.

Some days your output will be lower and you’ll convince yourself your breastfeeding journey is ending, only for things to look completely normal again two days later.

Sometimes you’ll nurse your baby comfortably on your own couch.

Sometimes you’ll be sitting in your car in a parking lot.

And sometimes you’ll be in the middle of a crowded sports card show with a burp cloth thrown over half your boob because that was simply what needed to happen that day.

There is an enormous amount of learning as you go.

And seven months into this journey, I still don’t know everything.

But I know considerably more than the woman who came home from the hospital, stared at her Spectra like it was advanced calculus and sent her husband into Walmart for wearable pumps because she couldn’t deal with one more thing.

And if telling you everything she had to learn the hard way makes your first few weeks even slightly easier?

Well, then every 2 a.m. desperate Google search was at least good for something. ♥