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This blog post was one from my drafts from earlier in the year this year (2024) that I started writing while on a short work stay-cation in the beautiful mountain town of Hot Springs, NC, just around 45 minutes from Asheville. I wanted to finish this one out— it felt important, given the stressful circumstances a lot of business owners are finding themselves in right now post-hurricane. I hope this inspires and encourages you!
You Make the Rules, Fellow Business Owner
Recently, I found myself in the most stunning historic cottage nestled in the heart of Hot Springs, NC, enjoying a mini work stay-cation with my husband. This two-day retreat wasn’t just any getaway— we stayed at the Magnolia House Estate, in the Magnolia House Cottage, a property belonging to one of my wonderful clients.
Why did we choose this particular spot? Well, for starters, I cherish the opportunity to immerse myself in my clients' worlds, getting a full scope and picture of what they do, and Magnolia House Estate was no exception. Owned by my incredible clients, Sara and Brad, this place is a testament to their dedication and passion. They’ve poured their hearts into creating an experience that’s both memorable and cozy, and our stay was a dream.
If you’re ever looking for a magical escape, be it for relaxation, a work-cation, or even your dream wedding, I can’t recommend Magnolia Estate enough. They've thought of everything, all the way down to the smallest details (fresh flowers in every room!)
But this trip was more than just a fun getaway— being there, enjoying the simplicity, and quietness that Hot Springs embodies, I had a lot of time to reflect on my journey with Thrive Design Co. over the past four years and how to this day, I still get caught up in my old 8 to 5 job mindset way more often than I'd like to admit.
Running your own business often sounds like the ultimate dream—freedom, making your own rules, and chasing success. And while it definitely is a dream, let's be real, the journey is more like a rollercoaster than a calm, straight road. As I near the four-year mark with Thrive Design Co., I've picked up a few truths that have helped me find a better balance between work and life.
I often dream of having a schedule where every day is packed with nothing but creative sparks and productivity, no project hiccups, a steady, endless supply of leads, etc. Sounds great, right? Well, the reality is often far from it for most business owners, including myself— and that's just part of owning a business!
We've all had those days that start too late and leave us feeling like we failed. We get interrupted by unexpected errands or tasks, or hit a wall of zero inspiration. It's pretty common for us creative types to just power through, even when we know it's not doing us any favors. This can lead to feeling stressed, burnt out, and unhappy with our work. And when things don't go as planned, it's easy to let it mess with our heads and throw us off track.
The road of entrepreneurship is a bit more like a rollercoaster than a an easy path, and mastering our schedules, navigating curveballs, and tackling creative burnout are just part of the adventure. Here's some things that I reflected on and learned during this recent trip that I plan on taking with me moving forward and keeping close to remember!
Embrace the Imperfection of the Process
Thinking that just because you're your own boss, every day will be perfectly planned out is just laughable, honestly. Some days will definitely go as planned, for sure. And when those days happen, they're fantastic. But every day? That's just not real life. Honestly, aiming for perfection is like chasing a shadow— it's always just out of reach. What really matters, and what we should focus on, is getting better little by little, and being ready to switch things up when needed.
This helps us to let go of that tough pressure we often put on ourselves to get everything right. It opens up space for us to be more flexible and easygoing with how we handle our day-to-day tasks. It's like giving yourself permission to breathe and adjust as you go, rather than sticking to a rigid plan that doesn't fit reality.
When we don't have this kind of mindset, we set ourselves up for failure every time, and it eventually impacts our mental well-being if we let it go on for too long. We're human, and life is life— things happen every day, and nothing will ever be perfect! The more we remind ourselves of that, the more grace we can give ourselves, and we can give ourselves permission to lower our standards for ourselves- ever so slightly!
Remember to Reclaim Your "Why"
Remember why we started this whole business thing in the first place? We didn't want to be stuck in a boring 8-to-5, feeling like we're just going through the motions. So, why would we trap ourselves in the same old routines, same toxic mindsets and behaviors, but with a new label on it? The whole point of boldly going out on our own was to change things up– not just how we make a living, but how we live our lives. We wanted to create a day-to-day that really feels like us, one that fits our dreams and what's important to us.
But instead, if you're like me, you might find yourself in a bad mood if you sit down to work later than planned, or maybe you feel crushing guilt for planning to take time off. These are the stress responses we've picked up from working in toxic corporate environments for so long, and they're hard to break.
On this recent trip, I had to reclaim my "why." This is what my "why" consists of...
I started this business so I can be present at home more with my husband, not stuck in 2+ hours of traffic coming and going every morning and night, leaving less and less time for taking care of my home, and spending time with my husband & family
I started this business so I could be in control over the time off I took. At my 8 to 5, everywhere I worked, I was made to feel guilty about taking off ONE WEEK of vacation per year. I always felt like I couldn't travel or take time off, and when I did, I spent my entire time off feeling guilty about it.
I started this business so I could have control over my finances (as much as one can as a freelancer, anyway). No more getting shot down when asking for a well-deserved raise.
I started this business to be able to lean into my other role as a homemaker more, and one day, a work-from-home mom (God willing!). To be able to clean my house during the day if need to, or catch up on laundry, or have enough time to cook a nice dinner, or run errands when I need to.
These are just a few of my examples, to give you an idea. It's all about making sure our business doesn't just pay the bills but also brings us joy and fits with how we want to live. We can't lose sight of the bigger picture— when we started our businesses, we weren't just looking to change job titles, we were looking to change our lives.
The Power of Choice
One of the best parts about running your own business is getting to call the shots. Everything from picking the people we want to work with, to deciding when we clock in and out, is up to us. We get to decide how everything works. This is a big deal because it reminds us that no matter how crazy or unpredictable things get, we're the ones in control. And I think we forget that all too often.
Sometimes, I let myself get too caught up in worrying about whether or not I should work with this client, or that client, and if it compromises my values, or is someone who would definitely be a red flag client— but then I have to remind myself, that I'm in charge of that decision.
Sometimes, I get too caught up in worrying if I'm working enough, or too much. Finding balance in my schedule is something I've struggled with notoriously over the last 4 years. Of course in the beginning stages, you're working double over-time to make sure you're getting your business launched right, your name out there, and building a solid foundation.
But, four years in, I still sometimes catch myself working too much, and I have to remind myself (with some reassurance from my husband too) that I need to slow down, and take a step back to allow for relaxing, recharging my batteries, and refueling my creativity. If I don't, the affects trickle down into my work, my actions, my thoughts, and it causes creative burnout, and then I end up on the opposite end of the spectrum— not working enough because I'm exhausted, and my creativity is spent.
I have to remind myself that I have a choice of how I want my work schedule and routine to go. I can choose my hours, and I need to stick the the hours I choose. If I don't allow that balance for myself, it gets messy and complicated and everyone suffers. Learning to do that has been a challenge, but one I'm getting better at.
You Can't Please Everyone, (And That's Perfectly Okay)
I'm a notorious, recovering people-pleaser. I used to be the world's worst for trying to meet every single request, without offering my professional feedback and opinions, and that always led to client work being sub-par in my eyes, because we undoubtedly always ended up going with solely the client's personal preferences, versus what I knew would be best suited for them, and the goals that they'd shared.
I would work late nights and weekends, trying to accommodate last-minute requests, going over the allotted amount of revisions that I'd outlined in contracts , which would extend project timelines, causing them to overlap with other projects, affecting them, and it was a vicious, messy cycle.
I made the horrible mistake of leaving my email notifications on on my phone and would check emails after hours all the time, stressing out about replying to after-hours emails, unexpected requests, etc. and would find myself back at the computer to try and meet all these needs and wants.
Which is incredibly damaging to your mental health. If you do not set aside time for relaxing, unplugging, recharging, and refueling your mind and body with rest, and the things you need in order to thrive, you're going to undoubtedly reap the negative affects of your actions and decisions later, in some capacity. My mind was never at rest, I was always stressed out, I was neglecting spending time with my husband, and I felt like I was on a hamster wheel.
That is no way to live, and that doesn't make a healthy business either. That kind of mindset can make us forget what's really important. Realizing you can't please everyone is actually pretty freeing. It means we can stop spreading ourselves too thin and start paying attention to the stuff that really counts— like keeping our mind and body in good shape, spending quality time with our family and friends, and pouring our energy into the parts of our business that we're really passionate about.
When we stop trying to juggle everything and everyone else's expectations, we make room for what truly matters in our lives. And that's a game changer. This is still something I'm working through, but I've made night and day progress in this area over the last year or so. I can't recommend enough turning off your email notifications on your phone, setting boundaries with clients up-front, and sticking to those boundaries— that's the real key.
We've Got to Learn the Art of Pivoting
Being flexible isn't about being unsure of yourself, it's actually super smart. Life changes, and what we need changes too. So, it makes sense that the way we do things has to change as well from time to time. Even something as small as switching which day we take off can really make a difference in how much we get done and how happy we are. It's all about paying attention to what we need at the moment and being brave enough to change things up when it's called for.
For example, after I got my business established, I started taking Fridays off to get errands done, clean the house, get groceries, etc. And that worked well for a while. But I found that my clients often needed responses or last-minute things done on Fridays before the weekend came around, and so I switched my days off to Mondays. It made a lot more sense for my clients, and it made a lot more sense for my schedule, too.
Sometimes, pivoting could look like switching up your offers, or your products, or your processes. If you go into business with the "Set it and forget it" mindset, you're going to be in for a rude awakening at some point. Honestly, business is all about learning how to pivot— things change all the time. Our needs change, our wants change, our goals change, our client and needs, goals, and wants change, the economy changes, the trends change, everything around us changes. If we aren't able to pivot and adapt, we're going to be quickly left behind!
We Have to Be Kind to Ourselves
We can be our own worst critics, and our own worst enemies sometimes. Chasing success, we often end up being way too tough on ourselves. It's like we're in this constant race, pushing hard and beating ourselves up over every little thing. But here's the deal: being kind to ourselves, giving ourselves a pat on the back for the wins (no matter how small), and understanding that it's okay to have limits, is what keeps us going strong and happy in the long run.
Think about it more like a long journey, not a mad dash to the finish line. It's filled with ups and downs, learning curves, and moments that make us feel proud. The real magic for us as business owners and entrepreneurs doesn't come from having everything go exactly as planned. Nope. It's about how we keep going, how we shift gears when needed, and how committed we stay to what we dreamt up in the first place.
While you're the business owner and that side of things holds a lot of responsibility and often times seriousness, we need to remember to be kind to ourselves. Think about it this way... if you have a 5-star employee that basically helps keep your company going, and is invaluable to your team, you want to make sure they stick around right? You should view yourself the same way. Here are some examples...
If you don't give that 5-star employee any time off, they're not only going to underperform after some time, and get burnt out, but they might eventually quit. Give yourself permission to take time off. Whether that's taking a half day to recoup and grab some lunch or take a nap, or a two-week vacation to fully reset, relax, let go, and recharge. Listen to what your mind and your body needs, and act accordingly.
If you don't take the time to celebrate wins and give that 5-star employee credit where credit is due, over time, they might start to think "what's the point?" in reaching goals and milestones, if no one cares. Celebrate the wins, no matter how small. If you're a solopreneur, especially for long enough, you forget what it's like to celebrate wins like you did in your 8 to 5 with your co-workers, and you might stop celebrating wins altogether if you aren't in practice anymore, and have no one to celebrate those wins with. Come up with some fun rituals or things that you do to commemorate all your wins- big and small. This could be giving yourself a bonus or more time off, or something as small as treating yourself to lunch, buying a new outfit, or that special bottle of wine you love
If you constantly harped on that 5-star employee as much as you might harp on yourself, or are way too hard on them like you might be yourself, they won't stick around for long. Remember to give yourself grace, and be kind to yourself in the way you treat yourself, and talk to yourself.
Just like you'd invest in training for a top-notch employee to keep them sharp and engaged, you should invest in your own growth. It's crucial to your business's success for you to keep growing and learning. This could look like taking an online course that excites you, attending a workshop, or simply dedicating time each week to read up on industry trends. It's important to keep your passion ignited and your skills fresh.
You wouldn’t hesitate to provide a 5-star employee with whatever tools they need to succeed, whether it's the latest software or a more ergonomic office setup. You should apply the same principle to yourself. If a new tool or piece of equipment can make your work easier or more efficient, don't skimp. Your comfort and productivity are just as important! Providing yourself with the right tools for success is so important.
These are just a few examples, but you get the idea! Stop and ask yourself, "If I was my own employee, with the way things are right now, would I be over the moon to work for someone like myself as things are now?" If not, start making some changes. When you learn to be kind to yourself, and view yourself as your most valuable employee, you start to realize just how important it is to be kind to yourself.
So, here's a toast to knowing when to hit the pause button, soaking up some inspiration from the world around us, and building a business and life that really mirror what we're all about. This isn't about sticking to the old ways of working till we drop. It's about writing our own story, one that's full of life, happiness, and our true selves.
Let's keep moving forward on this adventure, being there for each other, and facing each day with a mix of courage, determination, and an open heart to all the great things coming our way.
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